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Crack Master Yoda

Yoda

"Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless."

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[23 Jul 2007|11:12am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Yoda is wandering through the Temple twirling his lightsaber. In a rare moment of not being senile, he's fully clothed and hasn't taken a swim in the Temple's fountains.

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[07 Aug 2006|12:32pm]
*is floating in the healer's ward singing to himself about how difficult it is to be green*

*tries to remember how many Wookiees bit him and if any of them seemed a little off*
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Missed me have you? [19 Jul 2006|11:57am]
Back from Kashyyk I am! Good relations with the Wookiees I had! Hard they can bite. *giggles, scratches* Ready for trials is my apprentice! Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Chosen he is, oh yes! *looks around* Colder in here it has become. *puts on a Yoda-sized scarf*

Mmph, warmth I still do not feel. I know! My old apprentice I will visit! *rummages in a cabinet* For tea he will join me. Hehehehe! To have him back, warmed is my heart. *bounces around cheerfully*

Hello Younglings! *continues to walk to Dooku's quarters, twirling his lightsaber as he goes*

*chimes Dooku's door because he's feeling polite*
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[20 Jun 2006|02:49pm]
Yoda is asleep meditating in his chair. The datapad that he's holding is slipping through his fingers. Until someone wakes him up, he's dreaming about fishing on Shenon VII.
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When 874 years you reach, look as good you will not [02 Jun 2006|03:59pm]
[ mood | silly ]

Mmph. If aged again I was, to be warned I wanted. *starts hunting for his gimer stick*

Around here somewhere it must be.

*opens cabinet*

Gone are my cookies too!

Hmmph. Much to learn I had. *shakes fist* Much to learn I had. *shakes fist* Around somewhere here, be it must!

*stares at the bath tub*

*gets distracted*

*goes for a swim*

*takes a nap*

*dreams happy Preachy dreams*

*snore-croaks*

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Happy will I be when to my own time I return [16 May 2006|09:58am]
Very confusing this situation is, jumping years and time. Miss not having difficulty with language, I do. Hmmph. Happy will I be when to my own time I am returned.

*goes to a room in the Temple for some meditation*

((This will be the last week to catch a 464 year old sane but had a stroke!Yoda. After this, he's aging and starting to get senile again, though without a vendetta against young Skywalkers at his younger age))
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By the time flies [08 May 2006|02:38pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Yoda has aged another few centuries, now 464 years old. A stroke at the age of 300 has rendered him grammatically challenged, though still sane, unlike his 874 year old self. He can be found in the Council chambers, watching Senate proceedings via holofeed.

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Hello datapad that I found in quarters that look like they could be mine [27 Apr 2006|01:38pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I appear to have traveled 674 years into the future. Maybe that's why people were looking at me oddly in the corridors. Do I look so differently when I'm 874(!!!!)? I've heard Master Yaddle's here too, as an old amphibian. It makes me happy to know she's got a nice long life ahead of her. I think I'll go for a swim so that I don't dry out.

Yoda goes to the Temple's pool, rather than the Room of A Thousand Fountains. Moreover, he's wearing little swim trunks, sparing anybody from unnecessary cloacal viewing. He can be found swimming laps and thinking about the war.

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Different I feel [24 Apr 2006|10:53am]
Yoda was teaching the Younglings the finer points of lightsaber twirling when rockofd00m rolled by and did its thing. The Crack Master is now a spry 200 years old or so, but who's counting?

Remember, the blade end is pointed away from you. Hehehe! *feels all smooth, moist, and happy* That's right, Liam, just roll your wrists a bit more.
20 comments|post comment

[22 Apr 2006|10:23pm]
*Has no idea that the evil rock did anything to Anakin*

*Goes off in search of Dooku*

*Is fully dressed for the time being*

*chimes the door*
32 comments|post comment

[13 Apr 2006|07:29am]
*is now in his quarters and... naked!*

*comms Anakin*

For my sponge bath, time it is! Hehehehehehehe!
49 comments|post comment

Like a story this is... [10 Apr 2006|05:35pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

if an apprentice to the archives you take,
a prophecy he will love

If a prophecy he loves,
teach it to his apprentice he will

If his apprentice, another apprentice takes
Stupid decisions will they make

If on Tatooine they end up,
a boy they will like

If a pod race he wins,
to be a Jedi he will want

If his tests he pass,
too much fear still he has

If trained he should not be
Until asleep I am, the Council should not wait

If on murderous rampages he goes,
Exiled shall he be

If consulted Yoda was,
here would not the boy be

Yes! Fix this Yoda can!
A lesson this is for Preachy to teach, hmm?

*evil laugh*

*dances acrobatically through the Temple, ignited lightsaber being twirled as he goes with no care of what might be in its way*

38 comments|post comment

Funny this is not [04 Apr 2006|11:03am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

If an April fool's day joke this is, amused I am not. Not ready is young Skywalker. *shakes head emphatically* Much to learn he still has. Reckless, impulsive, stupid is he.

Another arm and two legs he still has! *evil cackles* With my old apprentice, spar again he should. Skilled was Dooku with a lightsaber. Myself I trained him. *looks smug* More limbs can Dooku take. Yes! Three more times, defeat Skywalker he can! To see that, my heart would warm. Hehehehehehehehehe!

Comedians you must think you are, hmm? A list of pranks I am keeping. Revenge I will take. In trouble you areCollapse )

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Respect your elders, you will [21 Mar 2006|01:47pm]
[ mood | irate ]

In my chair, someone has been hugging! Punished will those people be! Hmmph. Respect for a Master, they have not. To Master Qui-Gon ((of the pirate_jinn variety)) you must listen! Yes! In my chair, good relations are not to be had!

*wanders out into the Room of a Thousand Fountains* *dives into the water*

Oh, young Skywalker! My bath you will give me!

*splashes some more*

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What I love the dance is [16 Mar 2006|11:08am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Yoda is free-styling through the corridors of the Temple, occasionally whacking objects with his gimer stick

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[07 Mar 2006|09:46pm]
Hmmph. To a dark place the Temple has gone in my absence. Yes! Very strange is every one acting. Wonder I must if the truth my double speaks. Like this, I do not. To destroying the Sith, no closer are we. *crosses his arms*

Truly the Chosen One my apprentice is. Free from emotion, passion, and attachment he is. Almost ready is he for his trials, hmm? Very good my apprentice is at disguise. Hehehehe! And for negotiating, much he has learned. But much from me to learn he still has about a lightsaber. *nods*

*wanders around the Temple in case anybody needs to talk to him*
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Amusing I find this! [19 Jan 2006|07:49pm]
By Padawans this should not be viewedCollapse )

Better this one is for the entire TempleCollapse )
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Darth Preachius I am! [31 Dec 2005|09:24am]
cackling madly as he heads to Mace's partyCollapse )
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[27 Dec 2005|01:59pm]
*giggles* New mud I have! Hehehehehe! *splashes* Good for my skin this will be!

To Master Kolar I have spoken. His horns I did not touch. *giggles* Shame, a Jedi should not feel, hmm? A problem I do not have. Yes! Curious I am. For tea, you should join me young Maul. Mad at you I am not. Your horns I will leave alone, hmm?

*decides to order a pair of leather pants to match his new black robe* Hehehehe! Darth Preachius I am. Like this, Yaddle might, hmm?

A decision on a Padawan have you made, Master Yaddle? If on Coruscant you are staying, good for you an apprentice would *falls asleep*
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Meet again we must [21 Dec 2005|01:47pm]
*Yoda is sitting in his chair in the Council chamber, trying his hardest to not fall asleep*

The Chancellor's message we have received. Good points he has made, hmm? To him, young Skywalker do we send? Or another Jedi is there?
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On this matter, right Yaddle might be [20 Dec 2005|06:55pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]

A datapad entry Yoda thinks is private. In reality he forgot to activate the encryptionCollapse )

2 comments|post comment

Many things I have to say [13 Dec 2005|08:05am]
[ mood | confused ]

Artoo - A good job you've done, my apprentice!

Dooku - Avoid me forever, you cannot! A relapse in you I sense. Talk we must! If visit me you do not, visit you Darth Preachius will.

Yaddle - From Qui-Gon and Dooku the view is better when I ride. But horns Maul has; good for hanging on they are! An opinion of young Maul do you have? *remembers something else* On the ship, that drawing was yours?

Maul - An opinion of Master Yaddle do you have?

44 comments|post comment

About this I have a bad feeling [12 Dec 2005|12:43pm]
*searches the Temple*

Dooku! Dooku!

*has Artoo scan for his homing beacon*

My former apprentice has anyone seen?

ETA: *comms Maul and Yaddle* For more field experience it is time, Artoo.
50 comments|post comment

Presents I will have! [08 Dec 2005|02:46pm]
[ mood | excited ]

To me, you will give!Collapse )

Good at knitting Obi-Wan is, hmm? Hmmph. From Qui-Gon, as much I have expected. *looks forward to Artoo's gift* Something naughty from Maul? A hug it might be,hmm?

17 comments|post comment

Fun on the HoloNet [06 Dec 2005|03:03pm]
Wonder I must, who this Cthulhu isCollapse )
4 comments|post comment

[06 Dec 2005|10:10am]
[ mood | curious ]

*can be found hanging out in his quarters with a pot of unaltered tea*

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Very good am I, hmm? [05 Dec 2005|04:22pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

Mentioned, it did not, that to the Light Side I have brought my old apprentice, hmm? Humble a Jedi must be, yes! For my kidney, by Yaddle I have not been thanked. Hmmph. Another amphibian, find she could not I bet.

Good relations with Santa, I have!Collapse )

27 comments|post comment

Saved! [01 Dec 2005|01:37pm]
[ mood | happy ]

*dances around the Temple* *tuneless singing* Save him I will! To the Light Side my apprentice will return! *resumes dancing*

11 comments|post comment

Understand humans I do not [29 Nov 2005|11:49am]
Very insightful is young Maul. After my old apprentice he met, understands now that hugs are bad. *angry eyes* This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. Feelings a Jedi must learn to contain. Yes! Yoda you do not hug. This lesson, I thought Obi-Wan already learned. Hmmph. Love Yoda he may, but hug him he should not. *falls asleep*

*wakes up*

Sponge baths, young Skywalker still owes me. To you, has he been giving them Yaddle?
4 comments|post comment

From Barriss, a new outlook I have [24 Nov 2005|03:27pm]
[ mood | enlightened ]

*Sitting in his meditation closet*

If the clone army Dooku ordered, forseen this he has. Something more at work there is, hmm?

*Opens himself to the Force*

To the Light can he return? Or his clone? A new start the Zabrak has, hmm? Yes! Falling into place, all these events are. A Chosen One there is not. Misread the prophecy we have. Through my apprentice, evolving the Order is. Many Chosen Ones there are at work, hmm? From this, balance we will have. Yes! Turn the Sith we must.

*Slips into a trance*

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